Victor
daydreams that he lives with the Channel 8 news team. All of
them together—Sports,
Weather, Man and Woman Lead Anchors, and Victor—in
a wooden-planked house up in some giant tree. They swing on
vines
and eat all of their meals at a long communal table, like civil,
smiling Vikings. Victor makes a toast and swashes his apple
juice
on the person to his left, but it's ok; The Man on the Scene is nothing
if not forgiving.
Everyone has their job: Sports chops wood for the fireplace; Man and
Woman Lead
Anchors
bring home buckets of macaroni and cheese each night for dinner; The
Hard-Hitter keeps vigilant watch for bad guys, for there are always bad
guys. Victor's job is to play the banjo while the others
gather
around and tap their feet. Sports jigs and hambones, and
Weather
sways like a charmed snake. In his daydream, Victor and the
Channel 8 team are just like the Swiss Family Robinson, but much
better-looking.
Victor's real family doesn't fit into
this scenario. Sometimes, he feels guilty and tries to stick
them
in. His parents stay in a tree across the way, and he visits
them
occasionally to eat bowls of cereal and have his temperature
taken. His little sister lives with Victor and the news team,
but
she stays perfectly quiet and still in the corner like a stuffed
animal. Eventually, though, his family disappears from the
fantasy: they step on a rotted plank and vanish, or the vine they are
swinging on snaps and they plummet out of sight. Most often,
like
marshmallows, they simply brown, shrink, and turn into something like
ash.
There are always costume parties, even though it's
not Halloween. Sports goes as Magic Johnson, and he looks
exactly
like him. Man Lead Anchor goes as the Ultimate Warrior, with
bumpy muscles all over his arms and legs. Weather goes as a
cross
between Betsy Ross and a Lady Pirate, and she carries two
swords.
The Man on the Scene, who is hilarious, goes as a baked potato with
sour cream and Baco-Bits. Victor goes as the Ultimate
Warrior,
too.
Victor wakes up on his birthday to find the news
team has covered the floor with buttered popcorn. His room is
filled with new things: a Huffy ten-speed; a Nintendo Power Glove; a
Hot Lixx Guitar. But that's not all, they tell him, handing
over
a gold box. Inside is a microphone with neon yellow racing
stripes.